Milan Kundera & Chance; The Unbearable Lightness of Being

Written by Aphra Jikiemi-Pearson

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If you went looking for a diamond, with the intention of finding one, and you succeed, is that diamond somehow worth less than one found by chance? Milan Kundera’s The Unbearable Lightness of Being forced me to question whether circumstances alter worth. In a previous essay, I argued that they did: routine versus randomness created relationships that differed in quality and emotional investment.

Kundera’s ability to explore this theme through his character of Tomas, and his relationships with women, is admirable. The ‘number of fortuities’ that brought him and Tereza together did shape their relationship. Tomas saw other women - who he intentionally sought out - as a more physical satisfying of his curiosity. As the saying goes, curiosity killed the cat, satisfaction brought it back. Satisfaction did bring Tomas back to infidelity multiple times, much to Teresa’s dismay. Yet he also describes Teresa’s residence in his ‘poetic mind’. Through their chance meeting, their relationship gained a mental exclusivity, albeit not a physical one.

Tomas describes this feeling of loyalty he has to Tereza when he is with one of his mistresses: ‘there was no room [for the mistress] in his poetic memory. There was room for [the mistress] only on the rug’ where they were engaging in their physical activities.

But what really makes these events significant or noteworthy? Having chemistry with someone at an utterly random event seems fortuitous, but one could argue it is also predictable: given the sheer number of people in the world, isn’t attraction statistically bound to occur? Is the connection truly lucky, or does it come down to probability? As humans, it could be said we overvalue the poetry of coincidence and project aesthetic value onto actually very mundane experiences.

Still, I believe the number of fortuities does increase significance. Reflecting on my own experiences - of which I recognise I don’t have many as I’m still in secondary school - I see it in many aspects of life. Many believe luck is when preparedness meets opportunity. I agree. On my first day of secondary school I made some of my best friendships. It was fortuitous, yes, but to return to that definition of luck: I was prepared to make friends + I was given the opportunity to make friends = I made friends.

However to return to The Unbearable Lightness of Being, chance undeniably alters the quality of Tomas’ and Tereza’s relationship. It seems as though Tomas valued it as something he couldn’t seek out in others. Their relationship was essentially dropped into their laps, which is clearest when he frequently refers to feeling as though Tereza drifted down a river to him like ‘a child in a bulrush basket’, a biblical allusion to Moses. This suggests their relationship had a quality of the divine, the unchangeable, the predestined that all came together in that moment in the cafe where they met. Whether it was preparedness, opportunity or truly some higher power somewhere in the ether, their relationship is beautifully written with incredible depth, all thanks to the brilliant writing of Milan Kundera.